The more I speak out about Autism Moms™ the more I have people asking me, “Why do you hate all parents?” So I wrote this to clear things up.
I am the daughter of an Autism Mom™ despite she didn’t give herself that title and I wasn’t diagnosed as a child, but everything else fits – but I am aware of my own pain and healed enough to now use this experience for good.
I’m talking about a particular “kind” of mother who I call Autism Mom™ which I have added the TM symbol to place emphasis on this. It’s like a “brand” of mother. They are probably everywhere, but there is a large number located in the US and proudly call themselves Autism Moms™.
However, there are different types of Autism Moms™.
Please note, I am using “her” and “she” pronouns because I feel this is more common in cishet women, but this can apply to any parent of an autistic child.
These are my own labels to make sense of things, but I feel as there are two types.
Type 1 is just doing what she thinks is the right thing to do for her child, usually influenced by mainstream society and their view of autism as being a “disorder” not a genetic difference in neurology. Her heart is in the right place and she more than likely has a feeling that something isn’t right, but she doesn’t see any other options.
She uses the term Autism Mom™ for herself purely because in her social and medical circles, that’s the thing to do. She may be autistic herself and may carry internalised ableism. Eventually she breaks free and becomes a true ally of autistic people.
The second also loves her child. But she loves herself more. It’s all about her. No one else matters. There is NO reasoning with the Type 2# Autism Mom™.
Type #1 for me are the ones who I hope to connect with and it’s wonderful when they listen and realise, they aren’t alone and YES there is an alternative.
I am lucky to have quite a few Type 1’s here and I thank them for being here. I acknowledge them, appreciate them, but they get no cookies. They are ok with that too, because they KNOW that they don’t receive awards for doing something that they are simply meant to do – being a parent.
Type #2 are the ones I meme. I have no sympathy for. Some empathy. But zero tolerance for. They don’t listen to autistic people. They write these types of comments [This article: Autism Moms™, Allow Me To Explain]
So no, not all parents. But sadly, the majority.
❤ The Bullshit Fairy