I’ve had another visit from an Autism Mom™ on my Facebook page. The comment is now deleted, but I’d actually like to address this, to show you what is really going on here and why I have a zero tolerance for this Bullshit.
Every comment they make is pretty much the same and they are very apt at using common yet very subtle manipulation tactics that try to make you second guess yourself. This is often typical of a narcissist who believes they are a gift to this world and they are an expert in everything, including how you think and feel. Scary, huh?
“Wow! You’re one straight talker!”
Yes, thank you I am. That’s part of my job description as Bullshit Fairy. I value honest and genuine people who say what they think. It’s funny… it’s like you’re saying that as a bad thing. Oh wait, you are!
“I’m always surprised that most people can’t even comprehend that ‘with’ means in first person.”
Uh… no it doesn’t. I think you might be getting mixed up with primary school english lessons where we wrote stories in First Person. This is about IDENTITY. Autism is part of us, part of who we are and most of us prefer Identity First language compared with Person First. Not First Person.
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And hang on… are you doing that thing again where you try to make me feel incompetent? You are so surprised that most people can’t even? Because I don’t agree with you, it’s means I’m unintelligent? I see what you did there Autism Mom™. That’s 2 attempts at takedown.
“A lot is said about how parents cope but if that energy was focussed on the person who had the condition, everyone would benefit.”
Oh you are right about that! A HELL OF A LOT is said about the parents. The poor suffering parents.
And condition? What? Ohhh… you mean Autism. That’s not a condition honey, that’s a neurological variant.
And what? And by “focus” you mean “fix” right? By using Compliance “Therapies” and make the person normal so it’s easier for everyone.
Sorry, that is Bullshit. We need to focus on acceptance and support the Autistic person where they need it.
“That said, I’m pro the need for parents to vent and support each other.”
Yes, of course you would say that Autism Mom™. That’s in your job description.
“I think that is a human need.”
No. It’s not. Whinging and whining about how tragic your life is because you have an Autistic child is not a human need. That’s just called being an asshole. All parents are presented with challenges.
“It’s a learning curve and a massive challenge.”
Yes, it is a learning curve. And it’s a massive challenge for a child to have you as their mother. Yep. I said it. Too low? I’m sorry… I’m sorry that your child is made to believe that they are a tragedy with a condition and needs to be fixed.
“I’m a very solution focused person and often end up pointing out how they, as parents, could have done things differently, to avoid the meltdown etc.”
Solution focused? I bet you are! And I bet you just love pointing out all the things that are wrong, because you’re such an expert right? I bet your “kindness” is very much appreciated. *eye roll*
“There are two ways to look at everything.”
You mean your way and the wrong way?
“Most parents end up talking to other parents for support, but rarely do they speak to someone with the condition.”
Yes, parents speak to other parents. That’s about the only accurate thing you have said.
And what condti…… Ohhh that’s right. You mean Autism. Say it!! AUTISTIC. AU-TIS-TIC person. Autistic is not a dirty word.
And rarely? You know Autism is genetic right? So you could be Autistic, or perhaps you husband is? You can’t tell by looking at someone if they’re Autistic. That’s why we don’t appreciate being told “But you don’t look Autistic”.
And what the fuck does this have anything to do with anything anyway. Are you excusing your ignorance because you never talk to Autistic people? You’re talking to one now! We are everywhere…. *HOR HOR HOR HOR!!!*
“I guess that is because not enough people WITH Autism are speaking up.”
Oh man… I actually had to cross my legs whilst I laughed at this one. Not enough people are speaking up? The irony… It’s Autistic Speaking Day today!
And not enough of us speaking up? Puh-lease. There are plenty of us speaking you just don’t want to listen.
And I see what you did there again Autism Mom™…. Using the ol’ blaming tactic, because we aren’t doing enough and that’s why you’re an asshole. You have no choice. It’s our fault.
And I also see the capitalisation for WITH. But yes, you’ve made your point… That you don’t understand grammar.
“Most of us are still unheard. We need to be braver and bolder. You certainly are. I certainly am. “
What? Oh I think Autism Moms™ are heard. You don’t need any more bold but you certainly need more brave. You need courage to look at what you’re actually doing is hurting the children you claim to love by treating them like they are diseased and must be fixed.
I certainly am brave and bold? Is that another one of those “back handed compliment” things. And no, you are not brave. You are a fucking pussy who plays the victim in a tragic story.
“Although you and I have differing perspectives, it’s still nice to hear a strong voice that differs from the mainstream.”
Ah… the old closing compliment. My narcissistic ex used to do this. All the subtle gaslighting bullshit and then just as you think the other person might start to cotton on, you love-bomb them, with a big old “I love you just as you are” compliment.
Note the passive aggressive “with autism” hashtag, like she’s correcting me?
~ The Bullshit Fairy x